Tuesday, December 20, 2011

How's it goin?

Just an Emma update ...

Emma is definitely still suffering from reflux, but the past 2 days have been MUCH better.

She has been on an antacid for years, which helps the acidity of her stomach, but this current issue is more about mechanics than chemistry.  Her Nissen (wrap at the top of her stomach that should stop stomach contents from going "up") has been called "incompetent," and things are going "north" when they should be going "south."

She is now also on a med that should help things move south more quickly so they don't have a chance to go north, but too much of that med results in more stinky laundry than I'm comfortable with.

So we've been messing with the dosage of that medicine a bit, because the past couple of weeks were AWFUL for our girl.

But on Sunday we started a new bottle of Prevacid (same med she's been on for years, just a fresh bottle) and it seems to be making a difference.  She is clearly still refluxing, it just seems to be causing her a little less distress.

So maybe the old bottle had gone bad somehow?  Maybe the increased pain was from reflux that was too acidic and now she's still refluxing but it's less acidic so it hurts less?

(or maybe it's the prayer card we filled out for her on Sunday? :))

Either way, life is better today than it was a week ago, and that's good

Our plan is to let ourselves have Christmas and then let Charlie have his 5th birthday before we do anything.  We have some decision-making appointments in early January, but until then, I'm going to be thankful for the happy-er Bear :)

Monday, December 19, 2011


Oh.  My.  Goodness.

What is it about December?  Every emotion just seems magnified during this time of year, doesn't it?

Here's what's been going on around here:

Emma's reflux has been causing her pain lately.  It's been several weeks of rough days with her pain episodes.  (with, I'm sure, a few tantrums thrown in there for good measure, but sometimes it's hard to tell)

If you've seen us lately, you may not have witnessed any of these episodes, because she can be distracted from focusing on the reflux.  However, having to CONSTANTLY entertain the three-year-old is exhausting ... and having to choose between carrying her around and listening to her cry is wearing on me.

Last night, though, she actually had a pretty good night.  She got down and played with some new toys, giggled with Daddy, read some books with me ... Josh and I looked at each other and realized how long it's been since we've seen our old, happy Bear.  We realized that we had gotten used to a very fussy girl.  It was a wonderful night, but it highlighted for me what we've "adjusted to" around here.

This morning, she woke up pretty grumpy again, but actually did pretty well at Big Brother's preschool Christmas program.  It's very up and down.

And I don't think I'm the only one who feels strained to find a moment in the busy-ness of December to really "soak in" the joy and message of the season.  It feels juxtaposed to me this year.  The midnight clear and little town and angel choir and good news and great joy feel like they are in a different world somehow.

Occasionally, though, Christmas breaks through.  Mostly it comes through a quiet and unassuming song or tiny moment with the lights on the tree and a hug from my son.

But let this serve as a public announcement:

I may burst into tears (happy or sad) at any moment during this Christmas time.  Should this occur in your presence, a hug is all that is required :) 

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

That's what ...

Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown :)

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

I was a lot smarter before I had kids

Charlie: "Mom, why are the flags flying lower today?"

Me:  "People fly flags at half mast to remember or honor someone or something that has happened."

C: "What are they remembering today?"

Me: "It's Pearl Harbor rememberance day today.  On this day 70 years ago there was a big attack on America at Pearl Harbor."

C:  "What happened?"

I told him as much as I knew about planes coming from Japan and dropping bombs on American battleships in the Pacific Ocean.

He paused for a little bit and then asked


Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Deck the Halls

We've carefully chosen a "toy for someone who doesn't have as much as we do"

And piled Mommy's ENTIRE side of the family into Uncle Mark's truck to cut down our trees together.

The kids have helped Daddy make sure the tree is straight and centered.

"Helped" ... right ...

Emma was particularly helpful with the lights

We've wondered ...

and investigated.

Daddy's job is to put the star on top.

We've hung our very special ornaments.

"The angels are near the bottom because they are like the angels who came DOWN from heaven to tell the shepherds about Baby Jesus."  Seriously, where does he come up with this stuff?

We've told Emma all about her "Baby's first Christmas" ornament and how glad we were to have her home!

And we've set out Mommy's manger scene.

We've inspected our handywork.  many.  many.  times.

And now we're all exhausted! :)

Merry Christmastime!

Monday, December 5, 2011

Charlie flashback

Just for fun :)

My little boy was asking me about songs he liked to sing when we was little, so I pulled up some old Charlie posts.  This one is him singing Our God is an Awesome God and one of his very first Bible verses ("I not be afraid for God is miss me")
And this one is Charlie's version of Mighty to Save.

Both are from NICU days.  I have no idea how either of my kids have gotten to be so big!  Last I checked, I had a toddler and a baby ... and I'm pretty sure I'm not a day older than 26 ... right?

Oh, well.  :)

I just had to share ... these are, in my opinion, pretty stinkin cute :)

Friday, December 2, 2011

This child ...

cracks me up!

 She spends a lot of time just being goofy, which I love.

And she's back into a phase where I can plop her down with toys and she'll play independently for quite some time. 

People have asked how she's doing.  I honestly don't know the answer to that question.  She had an illness and needed antibiotics, which always throws her GI for a loop, but that's finished now and we're sort of back to "baseline."

But I'm really sure what that is.  There are days when I think that maybe the Plan B medicine is actually working well enough that we could maybe avoid surgery for awhile, but then I find her lying on the floor moaning.  She's doing great ... until she's just not. 

And she's 3 ... so yesterday she had SEVERAL screaming episodes that could have been pain ... or they could have been "I'm three and you're not getting me what I want and I'm mad even though you have no idea what it is I want"


So we're plugging along.  We've got an appointment next week to discuss what surgery would look like.

I really really really hate this decision.  I don't say "It's not fair" very often, but IT'S NOT FAIR that my (medically complex) little girl can't talk and tell me what's troubling her ... and so therefore we have to decide whether to take her to the OR to open up her abdomen based on ... her sleeping patterns?  Her behavior? (Did I mention she's three?)

But we just had a delightful playdate and she's happily napping working her way down for an afternoon nap.  So today is good.

And I guess what more do any of us ever have, right?

I am Emma, queen of all!
 Either way, I know we will be ok.  God is God and I am not and that is good.  Right? :)