Friday, March 29, 2013

Holy Week and carols

I've been thinking a lot about Christmas carols this week.

I love ancient carols.  You know, the old, good ones that sort of reach back in time and reassure us that our faith isn't a new creation of this generation.

"God and sinners reconciled.  Joyful, all ye nations rise!  Join the triumph of the skies!"

I love the "holiday season" that comes with Christmas

But Easter hasn't really ever been that for me.  No "hustle and bustle" 

And I love it.

I love the quiet, the reaching back and being thankful that
Christ has died
Christ has risen
Christ will come again

Many of us learn these carols before we really understand what they mean.  I think the fact that they are so deeply ingrained makes them that much more meaningful.

"Fall on your knees!  Oh, hear the angels voices!"

Then rang the bells more loud and deep, God is not dead, nor does He sleep

Peace on the earth, good will to men from heaven's all-gracious King

The hopes and fears of all the years are met in Thee

Especially at Easter :)

Friday, March 15, 2013

Happy Friday!

We are so thankful!  God is good and we seem to be heading toward happier times :)

Praise and gratitude for happier days!

Thursday, March 7, 2013


How great are the riches of his wisdom and knowledge - how unsearchable are his ways!
Romans 11

Psalm 106
Praise the Lord.  Give thanks to the Lord for He is good.  His love endures forever.  Who can proclaim the mighty acts of the Lord?  Who can fully declare His praise?

I considered a different title for this post, but I think I'd be plagiarizing.  A few years ago, I read a blog post ... somewhere ... called "I am my Father's autistic son" ... or something like that.  I, of course, can't find it now, but it's a concept that has stayed with me.

The idea was that, in comparison with the wisdom and knowledge of our heavenly Father, we all have various forms of special needs.

I have seasons where I am non-verbal, listening to lots of people talking about God, but forgetting to actually communicate with Him myself.

I have seasons of an attachment disorder, never just spending time with Him, forgetting to tell my Father I love Him.

I have seasons where I have autism, spouting Bible verses I've memorized like the brother in Rain Man listing playing cards, but never really making contact.  Foregoing positive social interactions by choosing to stare at a big box with blinking lights instead to treating people the way they should be treated.

Sometimes I have a learning disability.  I am told I should extend mercy to others, I observe people around me extending mercy to others, I myself have received mercy, but for some reason I am still sometimes slow to extend mercy.

It's a concept that I think about often in my relationship with my daughter.

I've been thinking lately about how Emma does not understand when she needs surgery.  Even if she were living with chronic ear pain, she is not in a cognitive place where she could possibly understand that the pain and fear and nausea and more pain involved with surgery ... she cannot understand that all of that makes her ear better.  She cannot know that we had to cut her open to remove disease. Her pain and discomfort on Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday were WAY worse than the nagging pressure she felt before surgery.

Yes, in the long run, she will recover from this surgery and be better off than if she had never had it.  But for today, all she knows is that someone cut her ear open and now we have to bind her arm in a splint to keep her from messing with it.

She cannot see the long term benefit, and so she is not thankful or patient or humble or understanding. 

Am I like that with God sometimes?

Does God sometimes have to lead us through situations that are uncomfortable in order to have us better off in the long run?

Comforting my daughter this week has reminded me to lean more and trust more. 

I don't understand why life stinks sometimes.  I don't have to.  If I lay my head on my Daddy's chest and let Him rub my back, I am filled with trust that someday, He WILL wipe every tear from our eyes.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Tired. Happy.

Emma seems to have turned a bit of a corner.  YAY!

I caught her for long enough to get a giggle, hug, and smiling picture, and then she's off again! :)

She needs to wear the splint on her arm for another day or two to keep her fingers out of her ear, but she's decided that she can live with that.  She even wore it at school today with no problems!

Her teachers said she had a great day.

Now if we could just get back to sleeping through the night again, I'll be ready to pretend the majority of the month of February was just a bad dream.  At this point, sleep is a little hard to come by because we're trying hard to find the balance between not waking her up to give her meds and not being woken up by a sad girl who needs meds.  I think we've erred in both directions at some point during the last week.

But when I got to pick her up from school and she smiles and runs toward me when she sees me ... I think it makes it all better.

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Quick Update

Emma's surgery went fine.  Her mastoid bone was cleaned and ear drum reconstructed.

We follow-up with her Fabulous ENT in about 2 weeks.

We are home now, but definitely NOT fully recovered.  We are splinting her right arm to keep those little fingers away from her incision site, which is obviously bugging her.  We are doing our best to keep her pain at bay, but her tummy doesn't seem to be doing well with the narcotics.  She went to church this morning, but her GI health has gone steadily downhill all day.  We're backing off on the pain meds a bit tonight and REALLY hoping we don't pay the price for that decision.

Thank you SO much for all your prayers and support - it means the world to us!  I have faith that we will be back to 'normal' soon.